“Wouldn’t You Like to Know, Leather Boy” and Other Things I’ve Said to Get Kicked Out of Gay Bars
By Annabel Friedman | Photo by Grace Whinnery
Preface: This is not my original headline, but instead the creative genius of my roommate and a statement that came to her in a dream.
“Do you have a crush on me?”
This is a classic, make sure to be offended by any response.
“Which one of you is the girl?”
“Can I say it?”
“Are you full gay or is this just a phase?”
“You’re wearing a lot of makeup”
“Can I say it?”
“Oh I thought you were brothers”
“Do you do the voice on purpose or is that just how you sound?”
“My boyfriend is over there but he thought it would be hot if we made out.”
“Have you seen ‘Call me by your name?’”
Have you fucked a peach?
“I feel like it’s kind of mean that you get to have bigger boobs than me.”
“Stonewall? Is that like two guys at once?”
“You really don’t look that gay”
(to a gay man) “Are you sure you are gay? Like I seriously don’t do it for you? Are you sure you’re not just into pegging?”
“I wish I were gay, it would be so much easier, men are the worst”
“I feel like I can say it. Straight guys say it all the time and nobody gets mad at them”
“But it’s another word for cigarette!”
“That’s swag”
“Top or Bottom?”
Do you have poppers? Have you done poppers? When will you do poppers?
James Charles adjacent
Are you gay or european