COM Beautification Project to Begin Fall 2026: Suggested Improvements Include Removal of All Natural Light

By Isabella Ketchen | Photo by Maddy Baczek

BU Campus Planning & Operations have released a new initiative to “beautify the area on and around 640 Commonwealth Ave,” with the project slated to break ground in Fall 2026. 

According to contractors, a wide variety of improvements have been suggested by administration bigwigs, all designed to “improve the standing and appearance of our world class college of communication.”

The Bunion has been able to obtain a copy of these plans, now available publicly for the first time. They include removing all windows and replacing them with “rectangular artisanal stones made of sand, gravel, and water.” One source, who wished to remain anonymous due to the secrecy of these plans, described these stones as “at the forefront of modern engineering capabilities.” 

“One could be forgiven for assuming these materials are worthy of coverage by your little newspaper,” says associate engineering professor Hershfeld Stallwell III. “They’re cinderblocks.”

Other improvements include adjusting the toilet flush spitback so it ejects at a directly upward angle instead of the current 45-degree trajectory toward the user’s face. An endemic problem in most COM bathrooms, contractors have elected to call this solution “shit and a show,” with the aim to “improve an already lively lavatory experience.” It is unclear what input, if any, BU Facilities has had on the matter.

The Bunion has also been informed of reports saying that all doors in the building are to be removed to “encourage student collaboration.” A memo obtained from a highly placed source justified the move by appealing to the college’s higher purpose: “It’s the college of what again? Communication? So let’s just stick with that.”

An estimated end date has not been listed on the Campus Planning  & Operations website, a recurring feature of other BU projects. “Oh, you’ll never get an answer out of them,” Stallwell confirmed. “I’ve given them every opportunity to give me a ballpark guess—as you Americans like to say—but, alas, they’re loath to return my phone calls.”

Editor's Note: The day before publication, the Bunion received notice that any further contact with Campus Planning & Operations will result in immediate suspension. The Bunion was subsequently threatened by unnamed donors claiming this article would decimate the journalism program's ranking in U.S. News & World Report. The Bunion would like to cordially suggest that if one article can shatter the program, perhaps those donors should consider actually investing in it.