Mr. Claus Sends Out Campus-Wide Blackboard Notification: Christmas Lists Due Soon
By Alexandra Burke | Photo by Lizzy Morearty
BOSTON UNIVERSITY- Boston University students are buzzing over recent Blackboard notification from Mr. Claus himself regarding a strict December 1st deadline for Christmas lists. Students are outraged at this new deadline. Mary Cristmess stated her anxieties over the deadline: “I mean- it’s just deadline after deadline after deadline! I have a lab due this weekend. A HUGE lab! At this point, all I want for Christmas is no deadlines. I’m over this shit.” She then proceeded to throw her lab note book at my camera man and stab the chum on boom with her Apple Pencil, leaving him with minor wounds.
The Bunion was set on finding as many diverse perspectives as possible to get the full scoop on how students are reacting to Saint Nick’s harsh deadline. We met with students Holly and Jollie to hear their opinions. Jollie whined, “I mean, I’m basically begging for an extension. I don’t even know what I want…” Holly joined in stating, “The turkey isn’t even cut and we’re already thinking about Santa Claus coming to town. Well hear THIS Claus- do not come to my town.” Quickly after, Holly began to choke back tears, and although she attempted to throw her Macbook at the poor guy on boom, he was protected by those plastic shields that police officers bring to peaceful protests.
As reporters, we are perplexed. Is this a sign to educators that our students are being pushed over the edge by continuous assignments? Should we be putting pressure on our school systems to step up and acknowledge our students’ mental health needs? Do us news reporters have an obligation to fight for these students? Prolly not.
Mr. Claus himself rejected an interview; however, his elves claimed the Christmas giant feels no remorse for the deadline.
Finally, we approached Seizen Greatings to get some final thoughts on Claus’s abrupt notification: “Bro, my Blackboard still isn’t connected to my BU gmail, does anyone know how to set that shit up?”