“Lowkirkenuinely” and Other Ways To Tell Someone Is Not Funny
Article by: Nicole | Photo by: Lizzy
Being funny is not a requirement for being likable. People who are not frequently funny can be, otherwise, lovely! However, people who are frequently not funny should be avoided. In discerning between these two types, here are some things to look out for:
Sarcastically replying “No” to a simple, civil request.
Example:
Person 1: Can you please pass me the salt?
Person 2: No.------------------ Kidding! Yes!
See, the purpose of this classic switcheroo is to make the favor asker uncomfortable for a few seconds. Let their mind wander. Let them regret every decision they’ve made that’s led them to this table.
Of course, after a few seconds of tension, since I am a giver, I will pass you the salt.
But, not before teaching you to think twice the next time you ask someone for a favor. In this world, you really can’t rely on others. Learn to show up for yourself.
After this fun and light-hearted moment we shared, I trust you’ve learned a crucial life lesson.
2. Saying you “committed tax fraud”, “committed arson,” or “have kids in your basement.”
You kooky kriminal! You silly goose, you! That is behavior I would not suspect from you, an unassuming college student!
No. Your real crime is regurgitating language from a meme account run by a middle schooler sporting a cat-eared headset over their DIY wolf cut.
If it were up to me, you would be given the same jail sentence as a convicted tax evader, arsonist, or kidnapper. While doing time, you can think about who you are without the influence of Instagram Reels.
3. “Time to get a watch!”
Example:
Person 1: What time is it?
Person 2: Time to get a watch!
Time for you to grow up.
Remind me never to ask you anything ever again. You deserve to be locked in a windowless room with no time-telling devices for 3 days.
4. Saying you “identify” as something absurd
Example: “I identify as an attack helicopter.”
Okay, then, why do you present as a limp piece of asparagus with a Morgan Wallen mullet and a hat that sits gingerly atop your head?
I wish you identified as an attack helicopter. I really do. Maybe then you would have a unique perspective to bring to the table, instead of a list of quips from your Truth Social feed.
5. Lowkirkenuinely
Example: “When you are lowkirkenuinely the only normal person in your class, and everyone else is an npc, talking about the weather outside is rizzy.”
Yes, this is a real sentence I found on the internet. This person has a lot of self-reflecting to do, but I digress.
Every time you use this word, another Gen Z-er’s resume is thrown in a Hiring Manager's spam folder. This language is bad for our brand, as a generation. In this job market, we can’t be losing brownie points.
Imagine all of the things you could’ve done with the screentime you’ve racked up in adopting a 3-part, 6-syllable, hybrid word into your vocabulary. Do better.
All of this being said, making snap judgments based on one comedic misstep is probably a mistake. I’m not encouraging that behavior. However, if you find yourself in a friendship with this kind of person, it’s okay to confront them. Send them this article and watch your friendship flourish as their self-confidence takes a small, but necessary, hit.