Saw Mamdani on the Street Shoveling Boston Snow With a Spoon. He Started Flying Away and Whispered “No One Will Believe You"

Article by: Ariana | Photo by: Stella R

I was walking down Commonwealth Avenue. I was falling over mounds of snow trying to get to my first lecture of the day “History of Carpentry and Its Impacts on Female Queer Identity”. I am skipping down the street, as I do, and I see.. guess who.. Drew Gooden. He is being chased by Frank Gallager from Shameless for the golden egg he was carrying. He was screaming “that is my golden egg! You have absolutely no right to take it Drew!!” Frank somehow catches up to the 32 year old and tackles him to the ground. He snatches the golden egg and runs away, Gooden following. I continue walking and as I approach the block where Gallager tackled Gooden, I see something even more shocking. Zohran Mamdani! In Boston! Shoveling our snow!!

  I walk up to a kneeled down Mamdani and say “Mr.mamdani! You’re in Boston!” He replied “yes, I am! Good eye kid. Want some candy? I have lifesavers.” “Yes I do yes I do” I quickly chant. I followed with “I always thought that candy was named lifesaber. It took me a long time to get it right.” He nodded his head and said “haha okay!” He goes back to shoveling the snow. This is where I notice something interesting. He is shoveling the snow.. with a spoon? No, not even like a ladle like a regular degular dinnertime spoon. 

“Mr. the Mayor? Can I ask you a question?” He nods his head yes. “Why on this beautiful green earth are you using a spoon to shovel snow?” He responds with “?” I said “Woah how the heck did you just say a question mark. Like you didn’t say ‘question mark’ you straight up embodied one.” He nodded his head yes politely, folded his arms one on top of the other, winked, and bowed his head. He waited a moment and said “you have seen many things, but this is one that you know can be only real.” I actually have zero clue what that means. Like that doesn’t make, seriously, a lick of sense.

Mamdani slowly started floating until he was off of his knees and eyeline with me. “Woah I didn’t know you had powers!” “Only in color Michael, only in color.” I had no clue what that meant, but I knew I had to stop questioning the man. “Do you need any help shoveling!” I asked my final question. “Yes! I have an extra spoon! Come we will spoon together.” I get down and start shoveling with him. He lets out a proud and appreciative smile. He giggled. He said “see? The shoveling was in your heart all along. You just needed help finding it.” He started slowly floating up towards the sky and whispered “no one will believe you.” I reach into my pants and see a lifesaver. This is real and no one will believe me.