BU Swim Team Now Able to Practice in My Vestibule

Article by: Robbie B | Photo by: Grace W

ALLSTON – Splish splash, they were taking a bath – in my foyer. 

“There’s no boots allowed inside my house, so take them, the snow seeped into the sole, and the shoe laces laced with sooty water and leave them by my door where they can’t affect me,” said me, recently. Little did I know of the crisis I had unwittingly unleashed.

The aftermath of those boots were pure devastation: Water levels rose by inches. The ice caps melted. The ants in my entrance hall became endangered. I open the door and I Paddington my own house. As in there’s so much water that a little bit gets into my house. 

Now even just leaving my own private domicile is an act of strenuous effort. My hamstrings deteriorate every hop I make from my door to the front door, so as not to wetten my Reeboks.

In great tragedy, sometimes great opportunity arises. In the face of ubiquitous budget cuts, the BU Swim Team has been without a pool to swim in. That's where my wet-ass vestibule comes in. 

Cut to: months later. The BU swim team is finally jacked. No longer are the days of weak ahh BU swimmers. We might even be on the way to our next gold medal in the college Olympics, or whatever people who swim compete in. 
“I can finally be myself,” said Amphibious Johnson (‘28). Sure, dude. Regardless, I know the swim team is enjoying having a deep pool of their own, even if it's by my front door.