When You Run Into That One Bitch You Hate on the T and It’s Just Like Bruh.

By Kristin Rosenmund | Photo by Alex Gaines

It was one of those days that couldn’t get worse. First off, it was raining like a motherfucker and I refuse to buy an umbrella because I’m not going to casually lose aura points like that. Like for real, I’ll wait until I can’t stop coughing or one day accidentally rip ass in my six person class. Anyways, yeah, so I was soaking fucking wet and I just looked fucking stupid, when I noticed the T was one stop away so I started running like the rest of the freaks on campus. You know the ones. But oh, guess what, I don’t look stupid enough because then I trip and eat absolute shittttt in front of Marsh Plaza. The group of middle school runners with their shirts off even stomped on me. I got my ass up and made it to the T because I wasn’t letting a triple whammy happen to me. 

I finally got on the T, but there were no seats so I was crammed like a circus animal against the side, probably hitting the Handicap button with my ass multiple times. With my back turned, I felt a tapping on my shoulder, but thought it was just someone bumping into me. As I was about to mutter a word I probably can’t write on this page under my breath, I heard it. 

That annoying fucking voice, the one I heard all last semester when I made the mistake of trying to be normal and asking if the empty seat was open, where I met the class friend who would ruin my life. Literally bruh, like if there was any moment that was a bruh moment, it was this one. All I could think about. Bruh. No way this is happening. And then SHE WOULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. What classes are you taking this semester? None, im boutta drop out now. Remember how hard that final was? No bitch, I greened out every day this summer to lose every brain cell and forget bitches like you. We neeeed to hang out soon like we said we would. MOTHERFUCKER I COULD NOT GIVE LESS OF A FUCK IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW. I tried to turn my airpods on full volume and just stare right at her dumb fucking face and hope she would just think I lost my hearing or something but it did not work. I realized she was getting off at the same stop as me, so I immediately got off at the next one and walked ten miles home.  

Like bruh what the fuck was that bruh.