Rating Every JD Vance Photo the Bunion Staff Sends Me

By Sage Clark | Photo by Emily He

Hello y’all, how are we doing? I hope your finals week is going well and that you are ready for summer vacation! I think we all need a moment to sit back and enjoy the age-old activity of making fun of our political figureheads. 

Today with JD Vance. Good ole couch humper. Mr. Cabbage Patch himself. 

We’ve all seen the photos of him and I would love to just roast the bitch to filth. 

This article is for you Pope Francis. 

Photo One: 

This image genuinely spooks the hell out of me. I don’t understand why the sick and twisted mind decided to put that JD Vance's waxy, shoe polished, sanded AND buffed head onto the weird baby doll spider thing from Toy Story. That thing was nightmare fuel for young Sage and still gives me the icky feeling. 

My Rating:  4/10

Photo Two: 

Hello Dubai!! Honestly this is what Mr. Vance should have gotten into instead of being a political menace, voicing the big orb in Las Vegas. Maybe he would like to tell cool facts about the city or advertise boner pills or something idk. 

My Rating:  8/10

Photo Three: 

I love this one! And I love everything about both the pokemon reference, and his amazing piercing blue eyes! I just finished playing Pokémon Black and it was an AMAZING experience. I love the ground-type and ice-type reference right here and honestly… I’m speechless.  

My Rating:  9/10

Ok guys, that’s all. This is me signing off for this year. Thank you everyone for the laughs <3