I’m So Fucking Scared: Geese on Campus

By Simran Patel | Photo by Adrianna Egan

What started off as a normal day for student Mia Reynolds (‘27) became a life or death standoff as it crossed its path right in front of the GSU. Reynolds claims she was almost “mauled to death” by the animal.

She stopped in her tracks and stared down the goose. Her palms started sweating, her heartbeat sped up, she didn’t know what to do. “It was just standing there, staring at me, doing nothing”

She inched her way closer, yearning for the safety of the GSU, but the goose seemed to follow. Then, almost like a warning, the goose honked. Mia described the sound as a “warcall”. 

“Bitch are you slow, MOVE” yelled Trace Sopp (‘26) as Mia began to realize she was already one foot in the GSU and blocking the entrance. She broke out of her trance and walked into the building. 

Trace later explained his frustration in an unprompted tirade: “Oh my fucking God, this bitch was just walking so slow down Comm Ave and now she wants to stand like a fucking boulder in front of the entrance of the GSU. The goose was just standing there, not doing anything. Oh my God, I’m so pissed off and nobody at this school fucking wants me. Not even chopped guys. Fuck my fucking chungus life.” 

Shaken but alive, Reynolds made it inside. “I swear to God, don't we live in a city?” she exclaimed. “They better get these geese out of here, I signed up for Boston, not a barn.” 

BU officials have yet to offer a statement.