Frat Bro Finds Nip Pad on Ground at Party, Thinks It’s an Implant

By Lila Sverdrup | Photo by Alex Gaines

Men, especially those enamoured with the “Greek life” culture, know nothing about women, their bodies, or the products that they use. It was no surprise when Derick, who had recently rushed, picked up a nip pad off the ground at a party and screamed, “Guys, it’s an implant!” with the low-breathed laugh. This is how you know society has failed us. Something as common as a nip pad was mistaken for something as rare as an implant, and who here would have them? Although I wouldn’t put it past some of the city girls I have seen strutting down Commonwealth Avenue. I feel interviewing Dereck would be interesting, and also revealing of the miseducation there is around women's bodies in the U.S. First question would be: how do you think the implant would’ve fallen out? With the follow-up: did she knife it out? Personally, I wonder if this man thinks women pee out of their vaginas, which would be a follow-up section. If you are a woman who has experienced idiocy like this, email me at sverdrup@bu.edu, and I will judge them. And if you are a man, please explain to me what car part this is?